The conversations your teen needs: Talking about the changes to social media account access without a fight
Parenting expert, Dr Marie Yap, shares tips to help families prepare for conversations about the new social media minimum age law that starts from 10 December.
If you find having conversations with your child about contentious topics difficult and overwhelming, you’re not alone.
Through 15 years of working directly with families, I have seen many parents struggle and seek guidance in managing conversations with their children, particularly on challenging or sensitive topics like mental health, or just things teens feel strongly about.
How much screen time is too much? Should I snoop through their phone? What household chores can my teenager take responsibility for?
The new changes to social media account access for those under 16 adds a tough new question to every parent’s list: How do I talk with my teenager about this?
Raising children in a new culture can be challenging
As a researcher, family psychologist and a migrant myself, I understand that families navigating a new culture can often encounter intergenerational conflict over parenting styles. This tension is further amplified for those moving from a collectivist culture to an individualistic one.
For children of migrants, noticing the differences in parenting styles between their own family and their friends’ families can also significantly impact their mental health and add more hurdles to sensitive discussions you might have.
In Australia’s increasingly multicultural landscape, this dynamic is faced by a significant proportion of families. The key to navigating this is to find a comfortable middle ground that works for both you as the parent and your child – a sweet spot that respects the values of both your home culture and the culture your children are growing up in, here in Australia.
How you want to talk with your child varies based on your family dynamic, but these conversations are important to support them in preparing for the change to social media account access.
With the law taking effect from 10 December 2025, I want to share some surprisingly simple tips to help parents achieve healthier conversations with their teens.
Practical tips for parents on talking with their child about the new law.
The most important thing before having a conversation with your child about these changes, is to arm yourself with correct and credible information. Because young people are still developing their judgement and cognitive skills, they’re more vulnerable to misinformation which often leads to emotional reactions or poor decisions. Ensuring you’re equipped with accurate information will help build a solid foundation for your conversation. There’s information to help you understand the social media minimum age changes at esafety.gov.au.
Secondly, be mindful of your tone. Before you approach the subject, be fully aware of your own stance on the change, whether you’re supportive or sceptical of it. This self-awareness is key to guiding the discussion effectively. Remember that teens are very sensitive; a judgemental or forceful tone will quickly push them away and prevent them from being honest about how they really feel.
In the conversation, remember to separate your child’s emotion from the expression of that emotion. You should expect intense initial reactions, particularly if they’re losing access to existing social media. Don’t react to the outburst. Instead, focus on validating the underlying feeling to keep the dialogue open. Showing empathy and acknowledging their emotions at the start of the conversation is the first step to an open and constructive discussion.
Young teens are strongly influenced by their peers (and of course, social media!). Finding out who those key influencers are, and what they’re saying, provides valuable insight for your conversation. The key is to keep the discussion curious, open, and sincere, aiming for exploration and understanding. Show your teenager that you’re on their side and navigating this transition together, resisting the temptation to simply lean on the new law and take a hands-off approach.
There are some questions you can ask yourself before starting the conversation.
- How can you explain to your children that these restrictions are there to protect their mental health and wellbeing?
- Some young people might think they can get around the restrictions. Where do you stand on this?
- Do you have initial ideas to help your children stay connected with their friends through other online channels or in-person catch ups, particularly in the early days when the change feels most noticeable?
How to start this conversation?
If you’re stuck on how to bring the topic up, try these conversation starters:
- “Have you heard anything from your friends at school about the new social media ‘ban’?”
- “This news story just reminded me, have you heard that you’ll soon need to be 16 to have a social media account?”
It will be important to help them understand that these changes will affect everyone under 16 in Australia. They might feel like it’s just them missing out, but this is intended to protect them, not isolate them.
For families who don’t often talk about their online lives, this change can be your timely nudge to start the conversation. It’s possible you’ll be surprised by your child’s current social media usage. The golden rule is to pause and breathe before reacting. It makes a huge difference, and creating a safe space for your child to open up benefits the whole family – now and into the future.
Additional details and resources around the upcoming social media minimum age, including translated materials, can be found on eSafety.gov.au.
About author
Dr Marie Yap OAM is a Professor and Psychologist at Monash University, with expertise in parenting and youth mental health. The Founder of Parenting Strategies – an online platform supporting parents in protecting their children’s mental health – Marie has been translating research evidence into practical and actionable tips for parents for the past 15 years. One of these online programs is freely accessible for all parents of teens in Australia via headspace.
